His Return
by Kvhottie
Summary: Short story on how Fuji confronts Tezuka about his leaving to Germany without telling him. Fuji has decided to break it off with him since he now has Saeki. Somewhat OOC, and very dramatic.


**Authors Note: Hey you guys! This little one shot is actually a compilation of an rp I (as Fuji) was having with Tezuka rp-er (thank you co-writer thetezukazone). The background is that Fuji and Tezuka used to go out but had a very rocky relationship. Then Tezuka just went to Germany without telling Fuji and this is what happens when he comes back. ENJOY AND PLEASE REVIEW!**

Disclaimer: I don't own these depressing babies.

**His Return**

Fuji looks down at the floor, "So you've returned from Germany?

"Hai. So, I've heard you're with…" Tezuka tries to clear his throat.

Fuji laughs bitterly, putting a strand of honey brown hair behind his ear, "Well, you did leave without ever telling me and before we barely saw each other." He tries to control his voice, teary pacific blue eyes meet Tezuka hazel ones, "This is for the better, you know?"

Tezuka closes his eyes and lets out a meaningful sigh, trying to get hold of the tiny amount of sanity that is left. "I know." He looks down, he can't stand those eyes. "You still have those eyes that I loved the most."

Fuji bites his lips, "It would be a lie if I said that there isn't a part of me that still loves you…that loves you dearly. But we can't. I can't." He balls his hands into fists, "I love Saeki, and it was his pure hearted, unwavering love that got me through your absence. He got me through your sporadic disappearances, when I felt that I'd go insane, and the only reason you never saw a crumbling me is because of his care. He also got me through your leaving to Germany." Tears were now running down his face, "And he'll get me through your return."

Tezuka tries to reach for his hands but instead he reaches his face which was full of despair." I realized a lot of things when I left… when I left you. I tried to get back soon but I guess it was too late." He can't hold back anymore, he needs Fuji. Tezuka hugs Fuji, his hunger controlling him. He wants more but this is all that he can do. "I'm sorry." Tezuka uttered.

Fuji's heart feels like it is going to tear into pieces and he tries his best to keep himself from falling apart, from giving himself to Tezuka. Saeki needs him and he loves Saeki, he wasn't going to play the same love game with Tezuka that had him on the border of insanity before. This was for the better, they both just needed time and space. He lets Tezuka hold him and his delicate hands clutched to the back of Tezuka's sweater. "…Kuni-Tezuka", he corrects himself. He'll need to correct himself a lot; the name had grown on him. "I'm sorry….I'm really really sorry for you, myself, for us. But, we just need time and it'll get better." Fuji sighs, "A lot of time."

Tezuka feels his heart dying. Can he act like a child? A child who is desperately begging for something that he lost? Can he act like a wimpy child in front of Fuji once? Just for this once? His mind is going crazy. This is indeed crazy. Tezuka slowly kneels down hugging Fuji's legs. "Fuji, no. I'm sorry… I just...Fuji" he cries. Tears are streaming down his face and the more he admits how painful it is the more he cries. His hands hold Fuji's legs tightly. "I can't. I just can't." The more he denies reality, the harder it slaps him. _I just don't care anymore; I don't care about anything at all. _"Please Fuji, tell me it's just a dream. Wake me."

Fuji runs his hand through Tezuka's soft hair; he can't believe Tezuka is acting this way. It just makes everything harder. Fuji had hoped that Tezuka would show him the stoic and proud face that Fuji had fallen in and out of love with. Fuji kneels down in front of Tezuka, caressing his cheek, "I'm sorry. It's not a dream. That is what I wanted to believe when you left; that you hadn't left for real. I was in denial for so long and then Saeki woke me, shook me gently back into reality. The reality I had ignored ever since my world became you. But we can't go back to that Tezuka and I'm trying to shake you as softly as I can but you need to understand that we have to move on. We poison each other."

"Fuji, it's only with you that I can move on, only with you." He realizes things like this add to the burning pain in his heart and his mind. The time is getting nearer. Saeki is waiting for Fuji but Tezuka can't let go of Fuji's body. Tezuka shakes tremendously, this pain is overwhelming him. No such victory can ease this pain. No, indeed nothing. "With only you, because only with you I can move on."

Fuji sighs, drying the tears that had begun to stream down his face, "And you can have me. I can be with you…but only as a friend. Nothing more Tezuka. We should give ourselves time, think about everything, and decide whether it's less painful to have me as a friend or just not see me at all."

"To hear you suggest not seeing you anymore is like asking me to take my life with my own hands Fuji." Tezuka lets his arms drop, it doesn't bother him to know that Fuji will clearly see how miserable his face after crying that hard. In his mind everything will end eventually. He just needs to end this sooner or else he will not be able to endure it. "I just want to ask you one last thing…" he says while looking straight into Fuji's eyes.

Fuji balls his hands into fists; he's never seen Tezuka so distraught. He doesn't want to lose Tezuka, he still wants to be friends with him. But he knows it was selfish to tell Tezuka that, so he stays quiet. His pacific blue orbs waver as they meet Tezuka's hazel ones, "…Yes? What is it?"

"Just tell me I love you for one last time.." _fool_ he utters in his mind, he was right calling himself a fool. He wants more than that; it will be the last time anyway so why doesn't he ask for more than that? Because he has been selfish enough. Leaving him and expecting things to be the same when he came back was a really foolish way of thinking. Tezuka holds Fuji's face to ensure that they will keep eye contact, in that way he can hold Fuji's soul and explore it through his beautiful pacific blue eyes that he loved once and loves still. "Just like this." Tezuka pauses for awhile. He gathers all the love that he can ever have for these three words because this will be the last chance. He is cherishes every second he shares with these blue eyes, the eyes he always desired to be able to read. In those lips that he would secretly go crazy for. In this face that he almost worships. "I love you. I love you so much that it kills me… I love you so much that I would love to see you smile again even if the reason is not me. I love you so much."

Fuji wants to look away; he can feel his strong will being shredded by Tezuka's words and presence. But he knows his priorities. He can't let himself get swoon again. He has Saeki who needs him, who has always loved him, and who helped him not fall apart. For Saeki, he has to be strong. Even if part of his heart is still in Tezuka's hands, even if he has to rip that part off to continue to move on, he will do so. His hands are shaking; Tezuka is making this unbearable for him. Just one last time he tells himself. This will end it all. His lips gently touch Tezuka's, just one last kiss, and he pulls away, tears streaming down his eyes. "…I love you Kunimitsu."

Tezuka's voice grows quiet. "Fuji, as you turn around please don't stop, not even for a single second. This… this might sound crazy but run as fast you can because I might change my mind." Tezuka hesitantly lets go of Fuji's hand. _Just run away now Fuji, just like I did. _As Fuji turns around Tezuka taps his back. "Go", he whispers.

Fuji nods, he too felt that if he stayed by his side any longer, he wouldn't be able to leave it. With tears still blurring his vision he takes a step forward, and then another one. He tries to fight the urge of turning around and embracing Tezuka. One step and then another one, and another one until he feels himself running. Running away from part of his heart and running away from the bitter sweet relationship that was poisoning him_. I love you_ he says to Tezuka in his mind again and again. _But I can't. This is for the better. You'll find someone who is right for you just like I found Saeki. That person who can hold you without being poisoned._ He is now running away at full speed, tears still streaming down his face.

As Fuji slowly vanishes from eyesight, Tezuka kneels to the ground again. He feels weak knowing that as Fuji steps further away, he also steps out of his life. "Shusuke…" He'll never be able to whisper that name into his ear, never again.


End file.
